So...here it is, another new year upon us. The holidays have come and gone. The Christmas tree has been taken down. The lights, wrapping paper, and decorations have all been put away too. This is the time for taking stock of who you are, what you want to achieve, and where the hell to put everything. This is a time for resolutions.
What are mine? Hmmm....as I look at my faults, you know, the things about myself that I find annoying and/or undesirable, I find myself not knowing where to begin. It seems like all I have are flaws. Then, I have days when I just think I am peachy keen and totally feel great. Keeping that frame of mind and body is another story.
So, what shall I resolve to do this year that is actually achievable? For one, I would like to write more regularly and actually get something published. That's a goal I can shoot for. Finding the right place for my stories will be the real challenge. Sitting down to write at least an hour every single day is achievable, too. So there. There's one.
As for my weight....the biggest personal flaw I have.....I must say I am at a loss. I am willing to try new things in regards to this issue, but believe me, I have done most every diet plan out there. I have come to the conclusion that as I age, my set point gets stuck even deeper in it's rut. I have always been the type that takes longer than everyone else to lose weight. It's in my genes.
At the age of 23, I had ulcerative colitis. This disease literally landed me in the hospital, severely anemic and bleeding from my colon with the most debilitating cramping of my life. Without insurance, I tried different methods to cure myself of this problem. What ended up happening was I landed in the ER thinking I was dying. At 23. Yea, I know...what a hypochondriac. The doctor thought I was just coming to the ER to use up the resources of the hospital. His tune changed when he saw how severely anemic I was.....I could have died, he told me.
It was at this time that I lost 40 lbs. in 3 months. Rapid weight loss for me. I guess not absorbing what you are eating can result in your body getting energy elsewhere. Too bad it took a deadly disease to get me there. Since I have been in remission for 18 years, I cannot rely on this method, nor do I wish to since I could DIE from it!
The only other times I was successful at weight loss was with a strict exercise regimen and minimal calories. Before I got married, I would eat 1500 or less calories a day and ride my bike 8 miles. I managed to lose 30 lbs....and gain it all back and then some after the wedding.
The second time I was able to lose a great deal of weight was when I restricted calories to 1200 a day, give or take a couple hundred, and exercise 6 days a week for an hour. It took me 9 months to lose 50 lbs. Then I was awakened one morning with severe abdominal pain that landed me in the ER again. Seems my uterine fibroid was growing and becoming aggravated by all the exercising I was doing. The doctor told me to stop exercising so much and that sent me in a tailspin.
That nine months was the most difficult for me in a number of ways. There were MANY weeks I would not lose a single pound, despite no cheating and regular exercising. I would cry as I stepped on the scale and saw nothing...not one single pound lost. It was very demotivating for me.
I also tried to vary my plan during those months. I would eat no carbs and managed to lose 7 lbs in a week, only to have the next weeks show no loss at all. My body didn't like foregoing carbs. Then I tried Weight Watchers. This resulted in a weight GAIN, despite being good with all my points and maintaining a varied exercise schedule. Strength training, yoga, treadmill, elliptical, exercise bike. I mixed it up as much as I could, to no avail. My second weigh in showed a 3 lb gain. I lasted a month before the big ER visit and gave up on everything.
Now, many years later, I find myself sinking deeper into a hole. I can feel my body's aches and pains. The moans and groans of my joints and muscles. The aging process has made me feel ancient beyond my current age and I don't know what to do. I am looking into the Flat Belly diet I saw on Good Morning America, but I am still trying to figure out my process.
I have surgery to remove my fibroid in February. I am not a prime candidate with my obesity and asthma problems, but the doctor has reassured me that it is doable and can help me with some of the pain I feel daily. I am scared to death, but I would much rather have one less pain in my body than just give up and accept my fate. I am willing to try to make changes, which is a good start in my mind. Having given up, I find it hopeful that I am at least willing to take a look at possibilities. I am resolute.
What are mine? Hmmm....as I look at my faults, you know, the things about myself that I find annoying and/or undesirable, I find myself not knowing where to begin. It seems like all I have are flaws. Then, I have days when I just think I am peachy keen and totally feel great. Keeping that frame of mind and body is another story.
So, what shall I resolve to do this year that is actually achievable? For one, I would like to write more regularly and actually get something published. That's a goal I can shoot for. Finding the right place for my stories will be the real challenge. Sitting down to write at least an hour every single day is achievable, too. So there. There's one.
As for my weight....the biggest personal flaw I have.....I must say I am at a loss. I am willing to try new things in regards to this issue, but believe me, I have done most every diet plan out there. I have come to the conclusion that as I age, my set point gets stuck even deeper in it's rut. I have always been the type that takes longer than everyone else to lose weight. It's in my genes.
At the age of 23, I had ulcerative colitis. This disease literally landed me in the hospital, severely anemic and bleeding from my colon with the most debilitating cramping of my life. Without insurance, I tried different methods to cure myself of this problem. What ended up happening was I landed in the ER thinking I was dying. At 23. Yea, I know...what a hypochondriac. The doctor thought I was just coming to the ER to use up the resources of the hospital. His tune changed when he saw how severely anemic I was.....I could have died, he told me.
It was at this time that I lost 40 lbs. in 3 months. Rapid weight loss for me. I guess not absorbing what you are eating can result in your body getting energy elsewhere. Too bad it took a deadly disease to get me there. Since I have been in remission for 18 years, I cannot rely on this method, nor do I wish to since I could DIE from it!
The only other times I was successful at weight loss was with a strict exercise regimen and minimal calories. Before I got married, I would eat 1500 or less calories a day and ride my bike 8 miles. I managed to lose 30 lbs....and gain it all back and then some after the wedding.
The second time I was able to lose a great deal of weight was when I restricted calories to 1200 a day, give or take a couple hundred, and exercise 6 days a week for an hour. It took me 9 months to lose 50 lbs. Then I was awakened one morning with severe abdominal pain that landed me in the ER again. Seems my uterine fibroid was growing and becoming aggravated by all the exercising I was doing. The doctor told me to stop exercising so much and that sent me in a tailspin.
That nine months was the most difficult for me in a number of ways. There were MANY weeks I would not lose a single pound, despite no cheating and regular exercising. I would cry as I stepped on the scale and saw nothing...not one single pound lost. It was very demotivating for me.
I also tried to vary my plan during those months. I would eat no carbs and managed to lose 7 lbs in a week, only to have the next weeks show no loss at all. My body didn't like foregoing carbs. Then I tried Weight Watchers. This resulted in a weight GAIN, despite being good with all my points and maintaining a varied exercise schedule. Strength training, yoga, treadmill, elliptical, exercise bike. I mixed it up as much as I could, to no avail. My second weigh in showed a 3 lb gain. I lasted a month before the big ER visit and gave up on everything.
Now, many years later, I find myself sinking deeper into a hole. I can feel my body's aches and pains. The moans and groans of my joints and muscles. The aging process has made me feel ancient beyond my current age and I don't know what to do. I am looking into the Flat Belly diet I saw on Good Morning America, but I am still trying to figure out my process.
I have surgery to remove my fibroid in February. I am not a prime candidate with my obesity and asthma problems, but the doctor has reassured me that it is doable and can help me with some of the pain I feel daily. I am scared to death, but I would much rather have one less pain in my body than just give up and accept my fate. I am willing to try to make changes, which is a good start in my mind. Having given up, I find it hopeful that I am at least willing to take a look at possibilities. I am resolute.
No comments:
Post a Comment