It's supposed to be that time of year when you focus on family, make cookies, shop for the perfect gifts, and generally enjoy a festive gathering with friends and family. This may be true for most of the world, but not this family.
This year, my husband's sister decided to make the holidays a holy hell for my husband and his parents. You see, every year for the past eight years we have endured 6 plus hours of sheer traffic terror so that we could spend Christmas Eve back at his parent's house and the hometown my husband grew up in. We pack up a ton of presents in our van and join the mass exodus out of Seattle in the days before Christmas along with about a million other people. The trek is treacherous, with traffic jams, accidents, idiot drivers who rarely leave the city, rainy weather, and a minimum of 3 hours of stop and go driving just to get to Olympia from our home 25 miles north of Seattle. It is a living nightmare no matter what day or time of day we leave. Just horrible.
To make matters worse, we have a daughter who HATES being in the car for that length of time. When she was a baby, she cried for hours because the car was not moving fast enough to put her to sleep. As a preschooler, she would cry and complain until she passed out from sheer exhaustion. As a young school age child today, she has graduated to bouts of carsickness and the maddening question of "Are we there yet?". It is nothing less than mental torture for everyone in the car to endure. I always end up crying from the sheer madness of it all and seeth to my husband that this is the last time we do this!
Two years ago, we had a particularly hellish drive down (nearly 7 hours) and I was so flipping mad that when we arrived, I told my husband's sister that this driving sucks and we can't do this anymore. The reply was laughter and an offer of a beer! My husband and I calmed down, and we told them that we would be more willing to make the trek if they would make an effort to drive up to see us at some time during the year. That way, we would feel like we weren't the only ones dealing with the stress of driving such a long way. If they reciprocated the sacrifice, we wouldn't complain. Hah!
The response to that was that my sister in law's husband was the one who hated driving up there and we needed to talk to him about this. He was sitting right there and just smiled and nodded.....it was all true. He hated driving in the city. Period. Wouldn't do it unless he absolutely had to. Whatever.
The following year (last Christmas), my husband's mother suggested that we have Christmas at our house this year. She stated this immediately after the festivities were over at her house. The look of total disbelief from his sister was pathetic. Her entire family, including the smart mouth 18 year old daughter, stated that Christmas Eve was ALWAYS at Grandma's house and it can't be anywhere else. We all just laughed nervously as we talked about how things always change, especially now that she and her teenage brother were growing older and going to high school and college. Uh uh....no can do. Christmas is always here.
My mother in law laughed this off and said Christmas was at our house next year because the drive is getting more and more difficult for us. The tension could have been cut with a knife. They were adamant that they would never spend Christmas anywhere but their tiny ass creepy little town. At this moment, we said our goodbyes and started off on our slow trip home. It's Christmas Eve. We wanted to be in our own beds on Christmas morning so that our youngest daughter could enjoy her visit from Santa in her own home, in her pajamas, taking her time opening each gift and playing with her new toys.
There were times when Santa arrived at 1:30 in the morning and spent 3 more hours assembling gifts and arranging things just so. Santa and Mrs. Claus lost a lot of sleep during those few years. Each year more stressful than the last. They would look at each other in the wee hours of the morning and make a vow to never do this again.
Fast forward to November 2007. My husband's mom calls me to tell me that his sister is mad at her because she won't be having Christmas in the usual place this year. There are all kinds of guilt gnashing words being said and tense moments of silence. She is laying it on thick. Even though her kids are nearly grown and the oldest is in college, she lays it on thick about how Christmas is always at Grandma's and her kids won't be with Grandma at Christmas.
My mother in law informs her, as we have numerous times, that they are more than welcome to join us up here for Christmas. Her own daughter replies that it just won't be the same and they will NEVER celebrate Christmas up in the city BECAUSE THEY HATE THE DRIVE! Ok, so it's perfectly ok for her brother's family to endure 6 hours of hell, but not ok for them to??? WTF??!!!
This saga has gone on for several weeks now. The manipulative, mean spirited granddaughter even sent her Grandma a sappy, sad letter telling her that she won't have her only Grandma with her at Christmas and it would make her so upset to not spend Christmas with her.....things shouldn't ever change.....ever. Whatever. She is a materialistic, arrogant, greedy, lying, disgusting little whiner who has been spoiled by her family her whole life. She always has to act like she is better than everyone else and won't hesitate to let you know you are inferior to her. It's pathetic and I am sick of her.
This family has been put through the ringer and made to feel like ogres because we don't want to drive 6 hellacious hours to a town for Christmas. I refuse to apologize for living in this town where my husband has the ablility to make a good living. This is our home. This is where we live. This is our life. If family can't make exceptions for each other, than there is no family in my mind. The best way to judge a person's character is to see how they deal with change. His family is showing that they have no character. They are selfish and arrogant as hell to be inflexible about something like this. I am officially done with them.
I will not call. I will not send gifts. I will not visit them ever again. They have alienated us for the past few years because we have told them we would like to see them up at our house every now and then. You would think we had asked for their eyes to be gouged out.
This year, my husband's sister decided to make the holidays a holy hell for my husband and his parents. You see, every year for the past eight years we have endured 6 plus hours of sheer traffic terror so that we could spend Christmas Eve back at his parent's house and the hometown my husband grew up in. We pack up a ton of presents in our van and join the mass exodus out of Seattle in the days before Christmas along with about a million other people. The trek is treacherous, with traffic jams, accidents, idiot drivers who rarely leave the city, rainy weather, and a minimum of 3 hours of stop and go driving just to get to Olympia from our home 25 miles north of Seattle. It is a living nightmare no matter what day or time of day we leave. Just horrible.
To make matters worse, we have a daughter who HATES being in the car for that length of time. When she was a baby, she cried for hours because the car was not moving fast enough to put her to sleep. As a preschooler, she would cry and complain until she passed out from sheer exhaustion. As a young school age child today, she has graduated to bouts of carsickness and the maddening question of "Are we there yet?". It is nothing less than mental torture for everyone in the car to endure. I always end up crying from the sheer madness of it all and seeth to my husband that this is the last time we do this!
Two years ago, we had a particularly hellish drive down (nearly 7 hours) and I was so flipping mad that when we arrived, I told my husband's sister that this driving sucks and we can't do this anymore. The reply was laughter and an offer of a beer! My husband and I calmed down, and we told them that we would be more willing to make the trek if they would make an effort to drive up to see us at some time during the year. That way, we would feel like we weren't the only ones dealing with the stress of driving such a long way. If they reciprocated the sacrifice, we wouldn't complain. Hah!
The response to that was that my sister in law's husband was the one who hated driving up there and we needed to talk to him about this. He was sitting right there and just smiled and nodded.....it was all true. He hated driving in the city. Period. Wouldn't do it unless he absolutely had to. Whatever.
The following year (last Christmas), my husband's mother suggested that we have Christmas at our house this year. She stated this immediately after the festivities were over at her house. The look of total disbelief from his sister was pathetic. Her entire family, including the smart mouth 18 year old daughter, stated that Christmas Eve was ALWAYS at Grandma's house and it can't be anywhere else. We all just laughed nervously as we talked about how things always change, especially now that she and her teenage brother were growing older and going to high school and college. Uh uh....no can do. Christmas is always here.
My mother in law laughed this off and said Christmas was at our house next year because the drive is getting more and more difficult for us. The tension could have been cut with a knife. They were adamant that they would never spend Christmas anywhere but their tiny ass creepy little town. At this moment, we said our goodbyes and started off on our slow trip home. It's Christmas Eve. We wanted to be in our own beds on Christmas morning so that our youngest daughter could enjoy her visit from Santa in her own home, in her pajamas, taking her time opening each gift and playing with her new toys.
There were times when Santa arrived at 1:30 in the morning and spent 3 more hours assembling gifts and arranging things just so. Santa and Mrs. Claus lost a lot of sleep during those few years. Each year more stressful than the last. They would look at each other in the wee hours of the morning and make a vow to never do this again.
Fast forward to November 2007. My husband's mom calls me to tell me that his sister is mad at her because she won't be having Christmas in the usual place this year. There are all kinds of guilt gnashing words being said and tense moments of silence. She is laying it on thick. Even though her kids are nearly grown and the oldest is in college, she lays it on thick about how Christmas is always at Grandma's and her kids won't be with Grandma at Christmas.
My mother in law informs her, as we have numerous times, that they are more than welcome to join us up here for Christmas. Her own daughter replies that it just won't be the same and they will NEVER celebrate Christmas up in the city BECAUSE THEY HATE THE DRIVE! Ok, so it's perfectly ok for her brother's family to endure 6 hours of hell, but not ok for them to??? WTF??!!!
This saga has gone on for several weeks now. The manipulative, mean spirited granddaughter even sent her Grandma a sappy, sad letter telling her that she won't have her only Grandma with her at Christmas and it would make her so upset to not spend Christmas with her.....things shouldn't ever change.....ever. Whatever. She is a materialistic, arrogant, greedy, lying, disgusting little whiner who has been spoiled by her family her whole life. She always has to act like she is better than everyone else and won't hesitate to let you know you are inferior to her. It's pathetic and I am sick of her.
This family has been put through the ringer and made to feel like ogres because we don't want to drive 6 hellacious hours to a town for Christmas. I refuse to apologize for living in this town where my husband has the ablility to make a good living. This is our home. This is where we live. This is our life. If family can't make exceptions for each other, than there is no family in my mind. The best way to judge a person's character is to see how they deal with change. His family is showing that they have no character. They are selfish and arrogant as hell to be inflexible about something like this. I am officially done with them.
I will not call. I will not send gifts. I will not visit them ever again. They have alienated us for the past few years because we have told them we would like to see them up at our house every now and then. You would think we had asked for their eyes to be gouged out.
Nevermind that I have made sacrifices foregoing MY family when I married my husband. My parents and siblings never acted in such a petty and selfish way when they were making their own traditions with new spouses and children. I felt it was important to make new traditions with my husband's family when I got married. My own family understood that because they understood my heart, and had made similar decisions themselves. It was our tradition to gather at my parent's house on Christmas day and exchange gifts. It was all I knew. When someone couldn't make it, we missed them, but no one tried to make them feel bad about that decision. We understood their need to do something else. It's what family does!
I am officially done with them. There is no way to mend this. The damage has been done. I am done. Merry F*cking Christmas.
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