Choices

Call my crazy, but I like to listen to talk radio. I know, I know...talk radio is full of extremists who often comment on the most radical of topics in an attempt to seek out the craziest wackos on the planet to boost ratings. This is true in many cases. Just look at Rush, Savage, Medved, to name a few. They seem to seek out the most extreme opinions from the media and various groups so that they can scare their listeners into siding with them and their opinions about the world we live in. But, I still like talk radio. Of course, I avoid those aformentioned shows like the plague. Instead, I tend to listen to local hosts or the well educated, less dramatic of talk radio hosts whose opinions I often agree with.

I don't know why I am so drawn to this genre. Maybe it's just as simple as I like to hear what other people think. I like a good debate, even if it is one sided (me listening to a radio and all and therefore not able to "talk back"). I just like to hear what fires other people up. What causes them to take a stand on one side or the other. From the sound of their argument, I can easily detect whether or not they have truly thought through their opinion, or just think the way they do because that's what the significant people around them (i.e. parents, family, peers, etc.) think about any single topic.

Another genre I am just getting into that feeds this desire to hear what others are thinking is the blogosphere. I am just now getting into this exploding new outlet available at your fingertips in the online world. The subject matter is limitless. If you are curious about it, you can find it being blogged about somewhere. Literally. Anything.

Blogs are opinions in web page form, almost like a glossy magazine with portals in the form of links to other sites with even more opinions on them, with even more links to other sites on them, and so on, and so on. It's endless. You could sit in front of your computer all day clicking and reading and still only touch a fraction of what's out there.

Which brings me to my own topic for this opinion...choices. Through much of my blog reading and talk show perusing, I have come to the well thought out opinion that many people believe that your life is what it is solely because of the choices you make. Period. No one to blame for your life being less than satisfactory but yourself. I find this "opinion" so full of holes I am dripping with sarcasm at the stupidity of it all.

Sure, we all make choices all day long, every single day. What shampoo to use. What shirt to wear. What route to take to work. Choose choose choose. We make those choices without much thought, mindlessly, ad nauseum. These are not the kind of choices I'm talking about. If only it were that easy!

The choices I am talking about are the life changing choices that determine whether or not you will have an easy or challenging road ahead. These come in the form of various comments such as: "He made the choice to get behind the wheel of a car while drunk, therefore he should be accountable for his choice". Or, "She made the choice to have sex at 15, therefore she should have to deal with the outcome of that choice if she gets pregnant".

I'm sure you have heard these kinds of statements made many times. Heck, you may even adhere to the same belief system yourself and speak these exact words. I just don't buy it.

I don't buy that we make conscious, thought out and fully aware choices. I just don't. Our heads would explode if we had to THINK about every outcome for the choices we make. In fact, doing that would result in shutins everywhere. We wouldn't walk out the door in the morning for fear that a meteor could come shooting out of the sky landing on our skulls! I know that sounds a bit extreme, but the reality is, if all of us thought through every significant decision we could make from start to finish, with all the potential outcomes, we'd still be living in the stone age. There would be no medicine. There would be no inventions. There would be no us. It's ludicrous to believe that people are capable of making conscious choices about all the important things in life. I just believe that you can't live life like that and it's an over-simplified way of pigeon holing people.

That's not so say that no one EVER thinks through things. Of course we do, we're people, with rational thought capabilities and informed experiences. The rub for me is that EVERY choice you make can be made that way. There is no room for emotion or desire or the actions of others in the minds of these people that believe choices are 100% in your control. That's assuming that all people have the same information, opportunities, and backgrounds that you do. And that is small minded.

Here's the reality. People do things that can lead to others getting hurt, killed, or grossly affected in some way or another. It's rarely intentional, unless you are hell bent on doing that very thing..and believe me, I am not naive enough to think there are not people in the world who want to harm others consciously and with a vengeance. I just believe the majority of people having sex are not thinking about STDs or pregnancy. They are just having sex!

My point to all this is that the mindset that we are solely responsible for the life we lead is a dangerous one to have. This Reaganistic belief that one must pull their own weight, drag themselves up by the bootstraps, forge their own way in the world alone is archaic at best. That kind of Lone Ranger thinking seperates people and prevents them from joining together to effect real change. There is NO POWER in a solitary person. NONE. There is only power in unity. No one person can cause change. Change comes when groups demand it on a united front. Not while you're holed up in your cocoon making your little choices.

This belief that YOU are the only one responsible for your life and no one else has an impact on your life is total hogwash. Tell that to employees who have been laid off from their jobs, or the black man who sees you cross the street to avoid him, or the high school B+ student who can't get into a good college, to name merely a few. There is a whole host of other entities/people/circumstances out there who have a direct impact on the choices you make.

So come down from your "I am the only one responsible for my life" stance and make a choice to see reality. There are very few choices that you have full control over. Stop vilifying people for the so-called choices they make (fat people, drunk drivers, job haters, credit cardholders, restaurant patrons, book readers, to name just a few). None of us has the power to be in full control of the choices we make all the time. Life has too many variables to predict accurately the outcome for all choices. Embrace the uncertainty that is life. See life not as a series of choices, but as a portion of a whole with an abundance of infinite possibilities that can impact your life in a number of ways. Stop trying to make everyone 100% accountable for everything. Live.